Weight Loss

So i'm talking with my coworker about weight loss and gain, diets and such. She and I have much of the same problem. I'm mad at my self really, I paid $5000 on a surgery and I'm not doing what I need to do to make it successful. I know I need to work out, I have an eliptical, a gym membership AND a personal trainer that I'm paying for and I'm not doing any of it. I'm taking dance class but not going as much as I should.
I need to find the motivation, I need to cook, bring lunches, I need to eat better, stop craving junk food. I'm at least taking my vitamins again, but I need to do what I am supposed to be doing. I need new recipies, I need support, I need HELP. Apparently the surgery alone isn't enough and I just have no idea. I can't go see my surgeon as I don't have 200$ to pay for a visit.. stupid lack of insurance.
I have a lot of down time now since I'm done with school, and only working 20 hours a week.
I need to stop drinking during the week again and cut back silly calories, I need to stop drinking Soda (but Cherry Dr Pepper is SO good)....

oye.
I'm 282lbs.. I have 102lbs to go until I reach my long term goal...

Marilyn was a size 14/16 which is now considered plus size.. that is my Ideal Goal Size :)