word of the day is fat.

I am Fat. I can't stop being fat. No matter what I do I'm fat. It's hard to change, to stop eating, to go to the gym when after 5 days there is still NO change in my weight, not even a lb to give me incentive...totally discouraged right now.
I feel.. lost.. and stupid.. and frustrated.. and empty.

6 months :)

6 months of happiness was yesterday, I had posted on FB it was 6 months of Love, he kinly reminded me it wasn't until the 1st month we said I love you.. so difficult he can be. I saw Star Wars and One for the Money this weekend, both good. I had some very yummy Cold Stone Ice Cream Cake.. see how it's all caps like that because all of those are important words.. SO YUMMY. How I missed sugar! Even 2 weeks laying low on it made it feel weird to eat it again.
So I'm going to attempt 7 days of working out this week.. Hopefully I manage this, if I can kick start it maybe I can stick to it. *crosses fingers*  So this whole no sugar thing is pretty impossible since there is sugar in everything, even milk has sugar in it! SO i'm just going to stick to no candy, Desserts on weekends and try to not drink during the week any more,.
I have an Interview on Wednesday for this skip tracer position. I really want a non office job, but what ever if I can get them to pay me 11/12 an hour then it will be worth it. But I need a job and soon. I can't think about wedding's and kids and houses until I have a stable job. Plus I can't enjoy my tax return if I don't have steady $$ lol

Weekend Recap

So I guess I've become a monday blogger, i should really work on it lol
Well I went to weight watchers and signed up on thursday, have I been following it..no. But I did read everything, I pay attention to what I'm eating. I might even sit here and count points on my breakfast. I bring it up because when I got there and i weighed in I almost cried (waitied til i got in my car) I saw a number i thought I would never ever see again. After that i started to pay attention to sugar grams and by saturday i was down almost 4 lbs. This new discovery leads me to believe that in fact I am insilin resistant, but we'll see what the scale says thursday. I can't really afford to keep going to the weekly meetings but I'm still going to try and pay attention.  I also went to the gym for 40 min yesterday. I'm going to go to the gym tomorrow, and wednesday thursday I'll get to dance class again then a weekend of fun! :)
Had a great PartyGals party on saturday with Alyssa and the Girls. Made some more t-shirts and holiday panties. Organized all of my crafts at Luke's and bought a new ww scale (which is what told me i lost weight). Next weekend I am doing a bra fit event at fashion bug (the only non anniversary v-day thing I will be doing all weekend) Hopefully I get some good leads out of it. I need to mail out some catalogs tomorrow and do some PartyGal work.
Still need a full time job, still need to work out more. I did how ever make a healthy lunch of chicken ceasar salad for lunch today, with portioned out cheese lol :)