7 months

Today is 7 months with Luke. It's been a wonderful 7 months. I wish that I was happier all around, because it would make these feelings all the better. It's really hard for me right now to be not working. I mean I know I'm working for my dad, which is great, but he realy doesn't need me here, he doesn't need the added expense of me being here. So I feel like a mooch, I'm living with Luke, but paying the bills at the Castle, I feel like a mooch.
Some mornings I wake up and I just don't want to get out of bed. I just want to sleep and disappear. Iwent to the dr friday and got my blood crawn for my thyroid test, and now I wait. I wish it would say there was something wrong with it, but there won't be. I'm just fat, weak minded and lazy. I hate feeling this way, andy i don't even know who to talk to about it. I can'ts ay anything to Luke cause he hates it when i bad mouth my self but i can't help how I feel. I'm so incredibly lost right now.. I don't even know what todo

Blogging

So I have tried to blog a few times lately and blogger was not allowing me to do so.
Oye.
I don't even know what my last post was about... *takes a look*
Ah yes.. Mopy me was having a fat moment. I am still not feeling the best about it but I'm trying. I think a lot of it is my lack of a schedule, I need a damn job. If that would get on track other things would too.
That being said my dr wants me on 1200 calories a day.. i tried and failed bad, I just can't keep that low. I've started this week at 1800 and it's actually not so bad. Mornings are a little hard because I can't have my eggs so I don't stay full as long as I was, but my pocket book is heavy because i'm not spending 4$ a day on breakfast at thrivent. I bought a blender and I've been making smoothies.. they only keep me full for about 2 hours, eevn with the 20g of protein in the protein powder, i'm thinking about trying one without and seeing if it's helping at all.
I'm trying my best not to weigh in until monday, so that I *KNOW* if this is working or not. I've been slacking on the gym time this week, but i'm just lacking motivation. But I haven't had a drink all week *ya* going to try and limit it to a drink or 2 on friday's and saturday.
I'm taking my camera in today to see what the damage is.. the mirrior broke on it, and I need an estimate to turn into my insurance guy.

I just bought my self LMFAO tickets and I'm quite excited about it! The show is on May 25th so Happy Birthday to ME! :)

I still am head over heels in love with Luke.
I'm pretty much living there now.
I'm getting VERY hungry.. so It's time for lunch
1 baked chicken breast
1 cup romane lettuce
1/4 motz cheese
3 tablspoons of ceasar dressing...

calories to count later

<3